WILL PUT DESCRIPTION AT SOME POINT

October 18, 2025

As a fresh twenty-one year old, just moved in with my long term boyfriend, and in my fourth year of college I realized how little I do things to fulfill my brain. I have recently been drawn to the subject of a "analog" lifestyle. Reducing my scrolling and doing more interactive and offline activities. I hope to live like a 20 year old in the 2000s. Filling my time with valuable activities and discovering sides of myself I didn’t even know were there. I'd never thought I would be able to code or develop a website and never in my 21 years did I picture myself doing so. However, as time goes on and I discover how little I truly know about myself, I’ve recognized that I’m ready and excited to start doing things that I "never in my 21 years pictured myself doing." Now this site is far from what I hope for it to be. But right now, it’s perfect for me.

October 19, 2025 12:44:05 AM

Staying at my parents tonight and am hearing some crazy noises outside of my room. I am being so dramatic, I think someone was up using the bathroom. Just remembered my mom had sourdough getting ready and she's probably up working on that — she told me she’d have to be up around one to get it ready otherwise it’ll mess up the baking process. I have been typing so lightly so I make no noise just in case of an intruder — that’s why everything is lowercase. The tension that just left my body as I now realized it was most likely my mom is a relief I have never felt before. This may seem ridiculous but I was genuinely terrified and thought this was the only way I would feel better. My theory was correct.

October 21, 2025 5:48:10 PM

I just messed up my website, working on some developments so please forgive me for the ugly color. I will fix this and she will be avenged!!!!
(UPDATE) I fixed the color but am missing the heading of my website and my coding is all messed up. However, today is my three year anniversary with my boyfriend so I don’t really want to be stressed about my website for the rest of the day. I will be back soon hopefully with a fix to this issue as well as hopefully a new look to the website!
(ANOTHER UPDATE) I also just realized I have messed up the link, like I stated already this will be fixed soon. For now enjoy the photos that I have added below!

October 25, 2025 4:04:13 PM

After a couple of days of some SERIOUS adjustments on my site im starting to like it more and more. Of course I would love some more photos and maybe a little more structure, but I've flew through building my page and I need to keep teaching myself to do code. I like it though.
I wrote my heart out yesterday about the difficult day I had working with my grief but it seems as though I did not save my progress after writing it. I probably wont write about it again because it made me very sad, but this is why I am making this entry now. I've come to realize that my blog section isnt necessary a blog but more so a updates page, so I am going to make adjustments to my writing and hopefully end up making a news/updates section! For my blogs I may look into entries. Not for this one though, because I dont feel like it and it turns out that this is my website and if I dont feel like doing the extra work im not going to! For now I am going to read "If Only I Had Told Her" or watch "Stranger Things". Anyway, my point is I have so much more to come for this website and I hope that all are able to enjoy it as much as I do! (even though its actually really boring)!

November 1, 2025 10:12:50 PM

Journaling just helped me relieve anxiety I have been struggling with this since summer. After having a productive day consisiting of:cooking, painting, drawing, journaling, painting my nails, baking, and cleaning, I was hoping to feel this sense of relief after taking a day to focus on living for life.Ive been feeling so unmotivied this week, and have let myself consume so much online media. I had been wanting to do some more with my hands but was feeling uninspired after doing everything I had been wanting to do already throughout the day. I assumed if I looked up a journal prompt I could find something that would help my creativity to come to fruition; as writing is something I was extremley passionate about nearly 10 years ago. After scrolling for endless time, I realized that it didnt need to be so difficult. So I just started writing down what was going on in my head, which usually is, ALOT. I didnt think it was doing anything to help, as usual a limited time sense of relief. However, this feeling is different. The emotions that I felt while writing, the release of tension I am feeling in my body, who knew that writing down some words on paper could help you in such a spiritual and emotional level. In my writing I talked about my struggling with feeling as though my effort in being good in areas that I once had passion for never being recognized as a young child have made me lose a sense of passion towards creativity, and essentially making me lose my sense of passion. Though this of course is not the only reason. I am reflecting on how just because I was not awarded and praised for my efforts in the arts as a young child means that I am incapable of flourishing in these areas. I hope to continue journaling and hold myself conssitent and accountabe to continue exploring these different creative areas of my brain that blacked out in response to traumatic feelings of inability that was developed over the years. Im going to remind myself that just because somebodys not telling me what im doing is good doesnt mean that its not good. putting that twards everything, from my work, to my life, to my creativity, to whatever makes me happy. Because at the end of the day it is never about what you are doing and how it makes everyone else happy. But how what you can do can make yourself happy, so happy that you can share that with everyone else. The lord has opened my eyes tonight.